Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Tuesday...
Early start this morning, J had to be up and gone by 5.45am, so I was awake then too...
Couldn't get back to sleep, and then of course as soon as I did, my alarm went off and I had to drag my tired ass outta bed!
Then it got me to thinking, about when I just started this weight loss journey all those years ago (5 to be exact!!!) it was nothing for me to jump (ok, not JUMP exactly, more like drag myself) out of bed, and go for a walk around the block, or go to the swimming pool and do some laps, or even, GOD FORBID, go to the gym!!
I was excited about it then, I was enthusiastic, and wanted it more than anything I had ever wanted.....
So what changed?
I'm not entirely sure!
All I know now, is that I'm happy in my life, OK, so I'm not at goal, like I SHOULD be, but I'm happy.
I can walk in to a shop and KNOW that I can buy something off the rack.
I don't panic when I have to fly now, cos I KNOW that I will fit in the seat.
Is it because the rest of the population is getting fatter, that makes me seem more "normal" now?
I mean, it is nothing to walk down the street and see lots of woman and girls out there bigger than me.
Even going out to a club, I know that I'm not going to be the fattest in the room anymore....
Isn't that sad?
That everyone around me is getting fatter, so it makes me seem slimmer??
I remember having to shop for a wedding when I was younger..... There was NOTHING trendy in larger sizes at all.
OK - so I'm talking 15 years ago now, but I remember having to get the most disgusting lurid purple and white ensemble from an "old ladies" shop and pretend that I was happy with the way that I looked in it!
Quite simply - I didn't have an option at all!
It was the purple people eater or NOTHING at all!
Nowadays, there are loads of stores that cater for larger sizes, and I am SURE that the sizes are getting bigger and bigger....
And I still find it quite amusing that I automatically STILL go for the largest size on the rack, only to have to put it back and get a smaller one.
But one thing that frustrates the hell out of me is Farmers.....
Size 18 in the big section in tops and skirts is too big, yet size 18 in the "normal" section is usually too small!
What the hell is up with that??
Anyway...... I'm rambling now.......
What changed to make me so complacent?
What changed to make me not want it quite so bad these days?
I guess I'll have to figure that out and get that old feeling back again.....
But until I do, I'll just plod along as I am at the moment.....
Not doing much of anything, just trying not to gain weight.
Which reminds me.... I MUST remember to hop on the scales in the morning.....
Or maybe I am just too scared to?
Comments:
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Very good point Jo! I reckon sizes are getting bigger, more shops stocking 20+ sizes now in trendy styles.
I'm still hanging out to be under a size 18 tho.
I'm still hanging out to be under a size 18 tho.
Could relate so much to what you have written - I'm sure we get to a point we feel comfortable as we lose weight and then the urgency, or committment we had to start with fades. I remember doing 7 aqua sessions a week plus other exercise. All about finding the right balance. I aggree about the clothes in NZ anyway - that is until the recent holiday when finding at around 74 k's, that an XL t-shirt would make me look like a sausage about to burst!!
Great to hear you sounding so happy with life - hang in there Jo - the weight loss will keep happening - in the meantime enjoy life!
Great to hear you sounding so happy with life - hang in there Jo - the weight loss will keep happening - in the meantime enjoy life!
I am hearing you, I think we all spend so much time obsessing about what we weigh when really we should all be proud of where we are now, I have lost over 50kgs but still think I need to lose more to be really "happy" but will it really make me happy?
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