Friday, November 09, 2007
Fucken Bullshit!!!!!
Have you ever "Googled" yourself??
Of course I have, but never found anything of interest at all..... UNTIL someone suggested Googling your "username" that you have for forums or whatever.
OK, so I did this last night, and sat there and actually cried when I read what I found!!!
It dates back to the 7th August 2002, and it was a response that I typed to someone on a "diet" forum who was complaining about being fat:
vouvaa
08-07-02, 05:02 AM
:c( being fat is messing my life , I feel like a looser and I hate myself , I need a magic potion to be normal person with normal features
wishuponakiwi
07-08-02, 06:08 AM
OK - I'll just wave my magic wand and make all the fat disappear shall I?
If you feel like such a loser and hate yourself so much, why don't you do something about it? You are the one that holds the fork or spoon that puts food into your mouth, so take control of your life and give your body the respect that it deserves by becoming strong and healthy.
I used to sound like you, but NO MORE. As I am finally taking control of my own destiny and making it happen for me - I am the only one who can make the changes!
It looks like you may have made the first step by coming here, so don't walk away yet - give it a chance, and have some faith in yourself!
God knows that if I can do this, ANYONE CAN!!!!!!!!
Wish :)
Pretty harsh stuff that I have said huh???
But I tell ya what.......... it made me think about myself for a minute, and how lately I have come up with every damn excuse in the book as to WHY I am gaining weight and stuffing myself full of crap food.
But that one line in my response sums it up: "You are the one that holds the fork or spoon that puts food into your mouth"
I can't be blaming anyone else or anything else, for my lack of self control.
It's ME!
Simple!
I used to be so motivated, I used to care about myself, I used to be able to say NO when I needed to.
What the hell happened to that person????????
I gotta find that staunch chick again, and maybe, just maybe, I might have found a small part of her already.....
Day 3 of no smoking and I'm feeling fine....
Got a bit of a headache today, but I'm not sure if that is because I am having withdrawals, or if it is cos I have my hair pulled up too tightly!! hahahaha......
Guess the simple answer would be to let my hair down and see if I still have a headache, but then I'd look like a bleached scarecrow, and in my office - that ain't a good look at all! haha..
Had a couple of glasses of wine last night with J's sister, and didn't feel like a smoke at all, so that is a good sign!
I KNOW I can do this...... and I KNOW that I can do it without turning to food as a replacement.....
I guess that is what I have been scared of all along...... that I would give up smoking and gain even more weight.
But I just have to be strong and stick to my guns, and realise that no one is MAKING me eat anything - it is all my own doing!
I cleaned out my "junk" drawer yesterday afternoon.......... This is what I took out of it:
2 x snack size bags of Twisties
3 x kiddie size bags of mini cookies
2 x packets of 2 minute noodles
1 x packet of microwave popcorn (butter lovers flavour)
1 x mini crunchie bar
1 x chunky size milky bar
1 x Sunbrite apricot muesli slice (the EVIL one!!)
2 x packets bagel crisps
I took it all home and it is sitting on the bench there, and tonight I will add more to it from our pantry.
I am going to get rid of all the shit food that is in there.
The biscuits, the chippies, the lollies, the chocolates, all the crap that I can find in there, I'm gonna put into a bag and take down to J's sister's place for her kids.
It is going to be replaced with HEALTHY options, like rice crackers and salsa, tinned fruit in juice, and fresh fruit & veges.
It HAS to be done, and it has to be done NOW!
Fuck it - it's time to stop blaming every other person for my own mistakes, and take ownership of my life.
Stop pandering to everyone else and start looking after myself.
I'm sick and tired of feeling sick and tired and I need to do this to save my own life.......
I'm just over it!!!
Comments:
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Hi Jo,
De lurking here....
Good for you in de junking your environments. It takes us all a light bulb moment that begins the process (or kick starts it again)
I wonder what the points value of all that junk value would be????, thats always the scary thing for me, when I work out what that would be.
Yay you for day 3 of not smoking.
I wish you much strength in your new resolve and look forward to reading of your success in process.
Rose-marie
De lurking here....
Good for you in de junking your environments. It takes us all a light bulb moment that begins the process (or kick starts it again)
I wonder what the points value of all that junk value would be????, thats always the scary thing for me, when I work out what that would be.
Yay you for day 3 of not smoking.
I wish you much strength in your new resolve and look forward to reading of your success in process.
Rose-marie
I think you have started to find the staunch chick again! Seems to be a few of us at the moment that are struggling - so you aren't alone! Good on you clearing out that drawer, it's a start!
This post made me think of when I first 'met' you (online) and I use to remember you saying that in your draw at work, you use to have things like:
Rice crackers
salsa
tuna and crackers
ww bars
fruit
and heaps of others little things that use to get you through the day (of which I then started a little draw of my own).....arrr those were the days.
I just got all inspired from this post of your and opened up my little draw and guess what I found?
Vegemite (good)
Pepper?
3 x cadbury mint chips bars
3 x mini caramello bars
a packet of jelly lolly things
a bag of mints
2 x freddo frogs
All but the vegemite and pepper has just gone in the rubbish and my work mate nearly had a heart attack and has scooped out a couple of things......hahahaha
I'm with ya mate - we are gunna look GORGEOUS this summer!
Rice crackers
salsa
tuna and crackers
ww bars
fruit
and heaps of others little things that use to get you through the day (of which I then started a little draw of my own).....arrr those were the days.
I just got all inspired from this post of your and opened up my little draw and guess what I found?
Vegemite (good)
Pepper?
3 x cadbury mint chips bars
3 x mini caramello bars
a packet of jelly lolly things
a bag of mints
2 x freddo frogs
All but the vegemite and pepper has just gone in the rubbish and my work mate nearly had a heart attack and has scooped out a couple of things......hahahaha
I'm with ya mate - we are gunna look GORGEOUS this summer!
Those 'light bulb' moments are what save us from ourselves!!!. Well done in cleaning out that drawer!!!! Luv ya honey :)
Was great to talk to you this morning. Just off back to hospital with the clean washing....LOL. See a mothers work is never done and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Luv & Hugs
Ma xoxoxo
Was great to talk to you this morning. Just off back to hospital with the clean washing....LOL. See a mothers work is never done and I wouldn't have it any other way.
Luv & Hugs
Ma xoxoxo
Uh Oh ... look out ... Jo is back. Man when you get on your bike mate you know what's gunna happen ... I'm so excited for ya already, cos I can see virgin fat again for ya just around the corner! I dont get how you (and Rachel) can have a draw of snacks? I've never been able to do that ... I'd just eat it. Even now when I get my raw cashews or dried apricots I just get enough for one snack because otherwise I'd eat everything LOL - somethings never change eh? no matter how much resolve we have LMAO @ me. Enjoy the wedding today!
... you know you can do this Jo ... you have before and you will again ... no "if's" no "but's" ...
there is no choice .. is there?
None.. otherwise... what a waste of a life.. I think of all those who do not have this opportunity we have, to live life to the fullest.. so, what are we doing with it? regrets? what if's?
No more.. I'm just going to do .. and that's that :)
... and I know you will too Jo.. cause you are one hell of a strong lady :)
Anne (~lose2live~)
http://slimmingforlife.com.au
http://lose2live.com
http://lose2live.blogspot.com
there is no choice .. is there?
None.. otherwise... what a waste of a life.. I think of all those who do not have this opportunity we have, to live life to the fullest.. so, what are we doing with it? regrets? what if's?
No more.. I'm just going to do .. and that's that :)
... and I know you will too Jo.. cause you are one hell of a strong lady :)
Anne (~lose2live~)
http://slimmingforlife.com.au
http://lose2live.com
http://lose2live.blogspot.com
Wow.
How did you and Rachel have that stuff in your drawers? It wouldnt have lasted 20 minutes in mine, let alone sit there to be counted the next day.
Good on you for cutting the bullshit. I'm about to do the same.
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How did you and Rachel have that stuff in your drawers? It wouldnt have lasted 20 minutes in mine, let alone sit there to be counted the next day.
Good on you for cutting the bullshit. I'm about to do the same.
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