Thursday, November 08, 2007
Thursday
Day 2 of no smoking, going well, but I haven't had time to think about it today I've been so busy - YAY!
It certainly helps having Rhian around at nights, cos I wont smoke around her, and it also helps that I got my car back yesterday after being at the panel beaters to get the rear end fixed.
Why would that help???
Well, they groomed it, so it smells and looks LOVELY, and there is NO WAY that I want to make it stinky again by lighting up in it!
Sushi for lunch today, and I have to be back in my meeting in about 5 minutes, so this is gonna be damn quick....
I have discovered in the last 48 hours that I am much more withdrawn than I used to be...... hard to believe huh?
Actually, I'm not sure if "withdrawn" is the right word.
My gorgeous little sister has been sick and needed to have an operation.
I haven't talked about it at all here, because talking about it and writing it down would make it all too real.
It wasn't until I spoke to mum yesterday (the day AFTER her operation) that I realised how much it had been playing on my mind.
I withdrew from everyone, I didn't talk to anyone at work, I hardly spoke to Jeremy about it, I was very "matter of fact" when someone asked anything about it, and tried really hard not to think about it at all.
And now that I look back, I have been this way for about a week......
I never noticed it before, and J kept on asking me what was wrong, why was I so quiet, why didn't I want to talk, and I just kept on saying that I was tired..... which I was, but also damn emotional, and it wasn't until last night that I opened up and actually poured it all out.
Anyway, I have no idea what I am trying to say, but I know that the past week has been hard for me, and I have been guilty of turning to food for comfort...
Even reverting back to cooking to calm me down........... lately I have been the Queen of convenience and packet meals, but Tuesday night I actually made an authentic Indian Butter Chicken FROM SCRATCH!!!! Herbs and spices galore......... it was divine, and it was blissful being able to relax and cook and KNOW that I had made a good job of it.
I'm rambling on and on here, but I guess cooking is something that I can have control over cos I know that I am good at it (most of the time) and it just seems that lately, I don't feel that I have much control of anything else going on around me.
Yet even typing that, I know that I have taken control of my job, and stepped out side my comfort zone to approach my boss and voice my concerns.
Of course this has had an amazing result, and I'm actually ENJOYING my work for the first time in months!
Now I just have to regain control over my eating and I'll be fine.....
Right - I although I have so much more to say, I have to get back to work, so maybe I'll be back later.....
Comments:
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Just sending my "get well wishes" to Stephanie. It is so scary how I have been reading your journal for 3+ years (probably 4) I start to feel like we know each other. **Waves**
# posted by 
: 11:22 pm, November 08, 2007
: 11:22 pm, November 08, 2007
Good luck to both you & J with the 'no smoking'. Dad & I are impressed!!!!! Been a long day but think Steph is making progress. She was very tired today but that is to be expected. Thinks at one stage we all had little nana naps......her in bed & us in the chairs LOL. Talk soon. Luv
Ma xoxoxo
Ma xoxoxo
Certainly sounds like Steph's op was a biggie but thankfully she is now on the mend. Must have been really hard for you here (NZ) knowing what was happening with her over there and not being able to give her a hug.
Chin up mate.
Excellent going with your no smoking, I know how hard it is and you are doing really well.
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Chin up mate.
Excellent going with your no smoking, I know how hard it is and you are doing really well.
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