Just4Jo - A fat chick trying not to be...

10.40am
Made it through morning tea with my WW cereal bar, and a coffee with trim milk and sweetener!
YAY ME!

11.50am
How many bloody times can one person go to the toilet in a day?!?!
My God - I forgot what this drinking water thing is like!
I am sure my workmates must think I have issues in the peeing department!
Hahahahahaha.....
Too funny - I went blonde a few months ago, and my big boss only just noticed now!
Men are shocking at noticing these things huh?

1.51pm
Well, that's lunch over and done with.
Didn't quite go according to my master plan, but almost!
Just means I had a HAM and salad sandwich instead of chicken.
No big deal right?
I had the choice of a pork roll on white bread or a Ham Salad on Brown, and I went for the ham - WELL DONE!
Baby steps Jo.
It's just a matter of getting back into the groove!

2.28pm
STRESSED!!!
Just backed out of a spreadsheet without SAVING it!!!!  Now the meeting I was preparing for has to be pushed back because of my stupidity!!!   GRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!
I want chocolate and I want it NOW dammit!!!!
AND I gotta pee again!
Bring on 4.30!!!

3.30pm
Meeting time, and I've just finished retyping my report!
No chocolate, just had a kiwifruit instead!
I need a drink!  And I don't mean water *wink*

Yep - a whole kilo in just 24 hours!
Funny what a good crap can do for a gal huh??
Hahahahahahaha - TMI!!!

Food yesterday was brilliant...
Actually - NO it wasn't!!

Breakfast - Coffee at my desk
Morning Tea - Coffee
Lunch - 2 x snax crackers pinched out of Rhian's lunchbox
Afternoon Tea - Coffee
Dinner - Baked Chicken breast, Cauli, Broc, Carrots, Beans and a TEENY bit of pasta n sauce on the side
Supper - Mini Kit Kat

So, although my dinner was superb, my eating throughout the day was non-existant!
I was really busy at work, and didn't prepare for the day AT ALL!
Plus, the only thing that I had in my drawer was 2 min noodles, and after the carb loaded weekend I had, there was NO way I was going near them!
No excuses here at all..... just the facts!
I KNOW that it isn't good not to eat, and it certainly wasn't planned, but the way my day panned out, with my workload, it just happened that way.
The freaky thing was, is that I wasn't hungry at all for the entire day yesterday - probably a result of all the shite I ate over the weekend.
But today - it's a different story!
I'm prepared!!!

This is the plan:
Breakfast - Coffee (Never have been a breakfast eater..... yeah yeah yeah I KNOW it's not good to skip, but hey - I'll make up for it!)
Morning Tea - Coffee & WW Cereal Bar
Lunch - Chicken & Salad Roll
Afternoon Tea - 2 x Mandarins
Dinner - Home made shepards pie with carrots, beans & cabbage
Supper - MAYBE a Mini Kit Kat (if I'm good!!!)

So there ya have it!!
GAME ON!

The time has come..........

My eating total CR@P has finally caught up with me!!

After two weeks of not jumping on the scales, I decided to face them this morning!

BAD BAD MOVE - especially on a Monday morning!!!!

113.6kgs!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How the hell did that happen???

Hahahaha.... I KNOW how it happened!!!!!

That is the result of eating cr@p, drinking too much, and not caring!!

This was my weekends eating:

FRIDAY:
Breakfast - Nothing
Morning Tea - Scone
Lunch - Sweet & Sour Pork on Noodles
Dinner - Nothing
Drank myself into oblivion (not quite, but I was pretty pissed) and ate Pizza at midnight with garlic bread and chips!!!  FANTASTIC!!!

SATURDAY:
Breakfast - Panadol & LOTS of water!!!!!
Lunch - Steak n Cheese Pie & 2 minute Noodles (Great for the hangover!)
Dinner - Fish & Chips
PLUS nibbled on chocolate for most of the day - justified it by telling myself that because I have my period I am "allowed" to have chocolate!

SUNDAY:
Breakfast - Nothing (didn't wake up early enough!!!)
Lunch - 3 slices of toast with Peanut Butter & Jam
Afternoon Tea - Peanut Butter & Honey Sandwich
Dinner - McDonalds!!!  Boss Burger, Chips, Chocolate Milkshake


MY GOD!!!!!!!!

NO vegetables (unless you count the chips!!), NO fibre at all, and tonnes and tonnes of fat!!!

And I have the audacity to sit here and complain about a couple of extra kilos!!

HA!!!

It's funny - a workmate just said to me "Wow - you look so good, have you lost more weight?"

And yet by the feel of my skirt, and the way my top is hugging that yukky "middle roll" there is NO WAY that anyone should be asking that question!

SOOOOOOOOOOO..................

It's time to get back on the wagon - the weight LOSS wagon!

I know I say this every couple of weeks, and I'm not even really trying to announce to anyone that this is gonna be "it".

I'm just going to try to take responsibility for what I put into my mouth!

Trying to justify it to myself wont work - what justification can there be for eating all that crap?!?!

There is NONE!!!

Step up to the mark Jo!

It's time to DO something about it, not just talk about it!

Watch this space........

Well, I'm not sure that I have found any great amount of motivation so to speak, but I have certainly remembered what it feels like to KNOW that I am doing something good for myself!
Does that even make sense?
When I moved into my new job, I also moved into an office that not only has a fully serviced canteen, but my area ALWAYS has full lollie jars, ALWAYS has someone bringing in some kind of tasty treat, and every Friday a basket is filled with chocolate bars, and it is basically just "HELP YOURSELF"!
Now, I dunno about anyone else, but me being a chocoholic and having to face that damn basket every time I walk to the photocopier, is a challenge in itself!
Today it is filled with Kit Kats and Crunchie Bars!  Kit Kats are my second favourite thing in the world next to Milky Bar!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!
But. . . . . .  by not eating anything, I know that I am doing myself a favour, and I almost feel self righteous about it too!!
Cos you all know it is all about me right??
Hahahaha!
Not much planned for this weekend - I have my princess so she will take up most of my time!
Might try to organise a playdate with a friend that has a little girl.
Hope the weather holds out!
Apart from that, I'm just glad the week is nearly over!
Bring on 4.30pm!
Keep smiling!

"I'm not a polar bear aye mummy?"

That's the first question I got this morning!

Too damn cute!

I'm still here, still cruising, still sitting on about 109kg.

Need to get motivated to dump this weight, or else I'll be sitting here in 12 months time still seeing the same numbers!

Is it the season?

Is it because I am happy?

Or is it just because I'm complacent?

Not sure of the answer to that, but once I figure it out - I'll act on it!

Now - I'm off to try to find that elusive motivation..... wish me luck!

It's bloody cold!!
Why isn't it summer yet?

Today I did something that I thought was pretty cool.
I went into Farmers, into the "normal" section and bought a dress.
OK, so it is an XL, but it was from the NORMAL section!!
NOT the fat chick section!
Not a huge deal for some people huh?
But believe me, when I was at my heaviest, going to a Fat Chick shop and buying a dress was a dream, let alone going to a NORMAL shop and buying a dress!!!
So yeah - that is my buzz for the week!
I'm gonna wear it tomorrow to work.
I'm really into the dress over trousers look at the moment, and this dress is perfect for that look!
I will wear a black skivvy and black bootlegs under it, and it will look FABULOUS!!!

Another buzz I had, was actually last week.....
I was going through some old pics on my PC at work, when a workmate saw my screen.
She asked who the "big lady" was in the picture, and when I said it was me, she freaked!
And I KNOW that she wasn't doing it just to humour me - she honestly didn't recognise the fat person staring at her from the screen!

Oh yeah.... just one more thing...... Running across the road in the rain!
Never thought I'd do that!
But I do. And I can, and I smile when I do it!
54kgs ago I would have struggled to WALK!

I've come a long way in 5 years, and although I beat myself up about not being at goal yet, I can be damn proud that I am STILL at my lowest adult weight ever!!
I may have been hovering here for months and months, and I may have been "playing" with 2 or 3 kgs for that time too, but at the end of the day..... I'm no longer that "big lady" that sits on the sidelines and watches everybody else live life!
I'm in there, living it too!

P.S. If anyone is on Bebo, add me!!! http://www.bebo.com/wishuponakiwi :)