Just4Jo - A fat chick trying not to be...

Forgot to mention yesterday, that to help with my eating (and also our budget) I did up a list of what meals we are having for the entire week.
Yesterday being the first day.
It is actually quite good to be able to see it all in black and white and know exactly what i need to do, or what meat to get out of the freezer etc....
Great idea!
I also wrote down breakfasts and lunches and snacks too, so that when i get ready for work in the morning, i can pack my bag (so to speak) and only take what i am meant to be eating for the day, instead of loading up my bag with whatever i grab out of the pantry on the way out the door!
Another GREAT idea!

Did I mention already about my back?
Well, it is KILLING me!!!!!
It started to hurt a bit last week, and then on the weekend, having to sleep in a strange (smaller and softer) bed, that has really aggravated it.
I could hardly get out of bed yesterday morning, and this morning although I was a little better, it was still really stiff and sore.....
In fact, I can hardly sit at my desk here for more than about 10 minutes without having to get up and move around...
I can't pick anything up, and it really hurts to twist around.
I have had a back problem for years and years now, so I know what I have to do to fix it, and that is take it easy, don't lift anything, and do my stretching exercises.
Frustrating when I want to get to the gym and pump iron!!  Hehehehe......
Hopefully it will get better soon and I can get back to my regular routine...... I really do miss it.

OK, time to go run about a million errands during my lunch break now!

I got this in an email today, you know how some of the emails just make you roll your eyes and think "here we go again" (or is that just me??)  Hehehehehe....
This one actually made me stop and think!
Anyway, I LOVE the last line of this, and we can certainly take a lesson from those few words!


As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will.

You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time.

You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken.

You'll fight with your best friend.

You'll blame a new love for things an old one did.

You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love.

So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt, because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back.

Wow....... what a hectic few days we have had!
Friday after work we headed off to Dannevirke to stay two nights with Chris's family.
It was good, and very relaxing.  Rhian got spoilt rotten as usual, and she had a ball with her Gran, Ganka & Aunty Julie!
Sunday morning we went across to Foxton to have a family lunch (Rotorua & Wellington rellies) at mum and dad's place, so Rhian got spoilt again and has her Nanna and Grandad wrapped firmly around her little finger.
The family lunch was good.  It was great to be able to catch up with all the relatives in one go!  
Of course there were a few inane comments from a couple of people, but I tried not to let them get to me!
Sunday night we drove back home again, unpacked the car, got Rhian to bed, then I headed off to bed as well..... I think I was in bed by 8pm!!
My back is killing me cos I have spent two nights on a bed that is a bit too small and a bit too soft for my liking, but hey - that's life!
I've eaten my way through yet another weekend, and have now struggled through most of a Monday with a "Sugar Hangover" and sometimes I think they are a damn lot harder to deal with than a "regular" hangover!
Why is it that I can be the Super Diet Girl through the week, and get my ass to the gym, yet the weekend strikes, and all good intentions go out the window??????
We had Subway on the way up to Dannevirke on Friday night for dinner.......
Not too bad I hear you say??
Yep - I agree........ not too bad at all actually!
EXCEPT
Have you ever tried the white chocolate and macadamia nut cookies that they sell????
Oh My God!!!
DELISH!!!
Anyway, I ONLY had one on Friday night.........
Saturday breakfast was good - toast and coffee
Lunch was Subway again........... but with the Subway roll, came  the Subway cookies!!!
two to be exact..... mine and Rhian's.
Then of course I had to get some to take away as well!!
Why couldn't I just leave well enough alone??
Anyway, throughout the rest of the day, and the next morning, I successfully munched my way through 5 of the 6 extra cookies!!!!!!!!!
MISS PIGGY!!!!
Saturday night we went out for dinner, and instead of getting a steak like i usually do, i decided on the Chicken Maryland....
Well, it was half a blimmen chicken, covered in a coating, then deep fried!!!!!!!!!
OK, so it was only half a small chicken, but it was still half a chook all the same!
I ate the whole thing too!
Left some chips on my plate, but scoffed all the chicken dammit!
And to be honest............. it wasn't even that nice!
In fact - it was blimmen YUKKY!!!
I should have just got the bloody steak and been a "good" girl!!!
Anyway..............  Sunday lunch wasn't too bad, but then it was the dessert that killed me - a delicious cheesecake thing with banana and pineapple - made by my mum - the best cook in the entire world!!
BUT....... it wasn't her shovelling it into my mouth was it??
NO!!!
On our way home last night - we stopped at BURGER KING for dinner!!  Of course, we could have stopped at Subway........ hehehe
So, all in all, it has been a pretty shit weekend on the diet side of things..
I REALLY need to learn how to control myself over the weekend more.
I am doing all this great work during the week, only to ruin it on the weekend - stupid really!
OK, so that is me in a nutshell.......
Gotta go do some more work now!!

Sorry - I found this today, and just HAD to post it.

SO FUNNY!!!!

I'll do a "proper" update later.......


CONTEMPLATING CHILDREN??

Lesson 1
1.        Go to the supermarket.
2.        Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3.        Go home.
4.        Pick up the paper.
5.        Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1.        Methods of discipline.
2.        Lack of patience.
3.        Appallingly low tolerance levels.
4.        Allowing their children to run wild.
Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it. It will be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
To discover how the nights will feel...
1.        Walk around the living room from 5 PM to 10 PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
2.        At 10PM, put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3.        Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1 AM.
4.        Set the alarm for 3 AM.
5.        As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2 AM and make a drink.
6.        Go to bed at 2:45 AM.
7.        Get up at 3 AM when the alarm goes off.
8.        Sing songs in the dark until 4 AM.
9.        Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1.        Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2.        Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3.        Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4.        Then rub them on the clean walls.
5.        Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1.        Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2.        Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this--all morning.

Lesson 6
1.        Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and pot of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2.        Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle.
3.        Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of CocoaPuffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a station wagon. And don't think that you can Leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1.        Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2.        Get a dime. Stick it in the cassette player.
3.        Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat.
4.        Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.
There...Perfect.

Lesson 8
Get ready to go out.
1.        Wait outside the bathroom for half an hour.
2.        Go out the front door.
3.        Come in again.
4.        Go out.
5.        Come back in.
6.        Go out again.
7.        Walk down the front path.
8.        Walk back up it.
9.        Walk down it again.
10.        Walk very slowly down the road for five minutes.
11.        Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12.        Retrace your steps.
13.        Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbours come out and stare at you.
14.        Give up and go back into the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9
Repeat everything at least, if not more than, five times.

Lesson 10
Go to the local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a preschool child. (A full-grown goat is excellent.) If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys.
Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11
1.        Hollow out a melon.
2.        Make a small hole in the side.
3.        Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4.        Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5.        Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6.        Tip half into your lap. The other half just throw up in the air. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old baby.

Lesson 12
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street, Barney,TeleTubbies,and Disney. Watch nothing else on T.V. for at least five years.

Lesson 13
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down in and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying "mummy" repeatedly. Important: No more than a four second delay between each "mummy"; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required.) Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt sleeve, or elbow while playing the "mummy" tape made from Lesson FOURTEEN above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

Lesson 16
Put on your finest work attire. Pick a day in which you have an important meeting.
1.        Take a cup of cream, and put 1 cup lemon juice in it.
2.        Stir.
3.        Dump it on your nice shirt. Also, saturate a towel with this mixture.
4.        Attempt to wipe it off with this towel.
5.        Do NOT change. You have no time.
6.        Go directly to work.

Lesson 17
Go for a ride, but first...
1.        Find one large tomcat and six pitbulls.
2.        Borrow a child safety seat and put it in the back seat of your car.
3.        Put the pitbulls in the front seat of your car.
4.        While holding something fragile or delicate, strap the cat into the child seat. For the really adventurous... Run some errands, remove and replace the cat at each stop.

You are now ready to have kids!

it's been a long day, and a brain draining day at that!
I have been on a course in the city all day, and I go back tomorrow as well.
It is called "Developing Influencing & Motivational Skills"
I am learning a hell of a lot, so that is great - but my poor old brain hurts!!
Hahahahahaa...........
Even though I was out of my comfort zone, I was still a diet queen today!
For morning tea they had little savoury things (pastry with filling - dunno what it was but it looked like egg and something), so I just had a coffee..... left the food on the plate and felt happy about it!
Lunch was chicken kebabs (stick ones, not wrap ones), club sandwiches, corn fritters, and mini filled rolls. I had a couple of club sandwiches, one corn fritter, one chicken kebab and one mini filled roll! I was well pleased with myself for that too!
Afternoon tea was custard and fruit tarts, and I happily left them on the plate as well..... in fact, I just had a glass of water.
All in all I think I was very successful in my eating today, and I also managed about a litre of water too!

I went to the gym after the course with a friend from work, and did about an hour, so that was fantastic, and I'll go again in the morning as well, but just stick to some cardio work I think.
My muscles are a bit fatigued today, I think I overdid it on Tuesday morning to be honest!
But anyway, I am really enjoying it, and the secret for me is getting enough sleep so that I can get out of bed in the morning and actually get to the gym, instead of turning my alarm off and going back to sleep!

Rhian is going well at daycare, she loves playing with the other kids and all the toys etc.
It is still hard leaving her, and she still cries, but apparently she stops pretty much as soon as we are out of sight! Little minx!
It will take a week or two for her to get used to it, and we expected this, so we just have to go with the flow until she is settled again.... I'm sure it wont be long.

Nothing more to say, cos my brain is fried and my body is knackered, so I'm about to go to bed and get some sleep, so that the gym wont seem like such a huge mission in the morning!

Night night!

Well, the Healthcare shop saw me coming!!
$93 later, thank you very much!!!!
I am sure that I have already mentioned this, but I'll say it again - quickly.
I have been on Laxatives (Dr prescribed) for about 4 or 5 months now. And quite simply - I don't want to have to take them anymore!!!
I stopped taking them about 12 days ago with the naive hope that my body would have somehow changed it's mind about doing poos, and would now go regularly - just like a normal person!!
Hahahahahaha......... how wrong was I??
The first day or two was fine, I DID go, but then my body stopped cooperating again, and I went FIVE DAYS without going!!!!
That is when I gave in and started taking the laxatives again......... and VIOLA, there was poos!!!
But......... It didn't solve my problem of not wanting to be on medication long term, for something that I believe should be able to be fixed.
So........ I set off for the Health Shop in search of advice......
I got lots of advice, lots of pills, and a big bill!
Hehehehe.........
BUT....... I would rather spend a bit now, and have a chance of maybe reversing some of the damage that has been done over the years, then have to take laxatives twice a day for the rest of my life!
I'll let you know how I go!!

I gymmed this morning......... had a great workout, and although I could have quite happily turned my alarm off and gone back to sleep, I MADE myself get out of bed and get changed, and I am glad that I did!
It really does set me up for the day - makes me feel SOOO much better about life in general!
Put a pair of pants on this morning, and they felt a bit LOOSER!!!
Oh My God!!!
And also, instead of looking in the mirror and hating everything that I see, this morning, it didn't bother me, in fact, instead of thinking
"GROSS, just LOOK at those disgusting fat thighs",
I thought
"Hmmmmm, those thighs will be smaller soon!"
Amazing huh??
All because I had a good sleep and a great gym workout!
Those endorphins sure so feel FANTASTIC when they are racing around in my body!!!!

I was thinking yesterday, about things that I can do now that I have lost weight, and also about things that I used to do when I was heavier.

High heels
When I was at my heaviest, I couldn't wear high heels.
I used to say it was because I didn't "need" any extra height, cos at 6ft 1in, I was tall enough.
The truth was actually because my feet hurt too much to wear high heels!
I was too heavy, and the balls of my feet would burn baby burn after about an hour of wearing anything higher than about an inch!!!
Now, that I have lost weight, there is not so much pressure on my poor tootsies, and I can wear high heels all day long now!!
YAY for me and high heels!!!
I don't CARE that they make me taller than everyone else - I already was anyway!
Hehehehehehehehe.......

Bugger, have to do some work now, just remembered that I have the next two days away from the office!! Hehehehe.......
Best I get my butt into gear!!!

Rhian's first full day at Daycare today - I cried more than she did!!

She loved it and fitted in really well........ YAY!!

Such a huge relief!!

I got up and went to the gym this morning, loved every second of it!

Worked out so hard that I sweated out of my arms!!

I havent done that for YEARS!!!

AND........ I lasted 15 whole minutes on the cross trainer!!

I have NEVER done that before in my life!!

YAY ME!!!!

Work was full on today, will be busy tomorrow too.

Wednesday and Thursday I am on a course in the city, so I really should check out the train timetable!!

Tupperware meeting tonight, so best I get my butt into gear and get organised!

I'm gonna sneak out of the meeting early though, cos I really don't want a late night - I feel SOOOO much better when I get a decent sleep!

Righto - that's it!

On track 110% with food and water and exercise today........

LONG MAY IT LAST!!!

GO THE CANES!!!!
We won!! And it was such a great game to be at – the atmosphere in the stadium was electric and everyone was in fantastic moods!
It was a great day to be a Wellingtonian…….
Now, all we need is for the Bulls to beat the Crusaders tonight, and then we get a home final!!
How cool would that be??
Anyway, that is enough rugby talk from me………

I’m feeling a lot better about a heap of things now, I think it really did help to have that release earlier this week……. I know that I sounded like a big old bag of misery, and at times I felt that way too, but it wasn’t all bad! Hehehehe…….. not that you could tell that by the way I wrote!

I didn’t get a lot of sleep on Thursday night, as Rhian was sick, and insisted on waking us up every half hour or so by coming in to our room and trying to hop into bed!
We had taken her to the Dr earlier in the evening, as she had a high temperature (40 degrees) and was really really lethargic and just generally unwell.
We know when our girl is really sick, cos she will actually sit still and give cuddles!!!
As usual, the Dr just aid to give her paracetamol to keep her temperature down, and make sure that she drank lots of fluids….
So, that is exactly what we did.
Wednesday morning she was a lot better, but still nowhere near her usual happy self, so Chris took the morning off to stay home with her, and I finished work at lunchtime to have the afternoon with her.
By the afternoon, she had perked up dramatically and was almost back to herself, so we decided to go to the rugby after all……
And really enjoyed it!! Hehehehe…….

This morning Rhian is well and truly back to her old self……… squealing, insisting everything is “MINE” and saying her favourite word “NO!!!!!”

Hehehehe, I miss her being sick! KIDDING!!!!!

Went skating this afternoon, and it was fantastic!! I worked up a bit of a sweat rolling around the rink, and was definitely more confident this week than what I was the first time that I went.
I am sure that next week I will be even better!
BUGGER – Just realised that we are away next Saturday – I won’t be able to go skating at all! Bah humbug!!! Hehehehe…

I FINALLY braved the scales this morning, it was something that I had been dreading for a few weeks……..
But I am happy to say that I am EXACTLY the same as what I was when I last weighed myself three weeks ago!!!
WOOHOO!!!!

I never thought that I would hear myself say that I was happy with not losing any weight for three weeks, but when it means that I haven’t gained anything for three weeks either, then that makes me a very happy camper!
Just have to get my ass into gear now and get back into the gym this week…… then I can start LOSIGN again….. and considering that there are only 22 weeks until li go to Aussie, and 19.8kg to lose, I better do some DAMN good workouts!!!

Righto…… bed time!

Oh yeah – have you ever tried to get a passport photo done of a 2 year old????

YEAH RIGHT!!!!!!!

Feeling a little better today....... but still in a grump.

Have you ever been so tired that you cry?

That was me this morning after just 3 hours sleep, if that.

I am my own worst enemy though.

I know that I can't sleep if Chris is snoring.

But instead of trying to go to sleep first, I kept the TV on.

So then I lay there until 1.16am, kicking him every few minutes trying to get him to shut up.........

Then I decided it was time to go hop in the spare bed.

I dozed on and off until 3.38am, I listened to the dog snoring, Rhian snoring and talking in her sleep, the next door neighbours dogs moving around in their kennels, the wind and anything else that was making sound.

I went back to my own bed at that stage, dunno why......

But I managed to get to sleep and woke up at 6.14am

Exhausted.

Rhian woke up then and wanted cheese.

She can't wait, and insists on pulling the blankets off me so that I will get up and out of bed and get her the damn cheese!!!

NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

It was at this stage that the tears started.....

I'd had enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonight I am going to bed early, and I will make sure that I am asleep before my darling husband even thinks about snoring!!!


My Tupperware party last night was a total fizzer......... The lady was absolutely lovely, but had double booked the party with another event that most of her family and friends were at, and she should have been at too!

She had done a lot of work already though, and had a few outside orders, so it wasn't a total waste of time.....

It was actually kinda cool in a strange way, cos I didn't even have to unpack my bag or set up the display.....  

I just sat there and talked to her for an hour before her single guest arrived, then we talked some more, and I left at about 9.30pm!

A relaxing night to be honest........  Just what I needed!!!!!


Oh yeah - yesterday wasn't supposed to sound like such a downer........ I guess at times it is just therapeutical to be able to express stuff that I keep locked up in my head.

There is such a lot that goes on in there at times, it is hard to get out, and this journal is a great avenue for release.

I could always make the entries private, but then again, I have always been honest in this journey and I am not about to change that now.

Warts and all........ that's me I'm afraid.


Anyway - a huge THANK YOU goes out to you all for your support, both in the comments and through emails....... as always it is great to have feedback!
And also to know that I am not the only one that feels the way I do at times..... I'm human after all huh?

And one last thing....... Superwoman (if she does exist) can kiss my ass!!!!

Hehehehehehe...........

Where was I going before with those questions???

OK........

Last night I went to the gym on my way home from work with a workmate.

Neither of us could be bothered doing much of a workout, so we did about 45 minutes, nothing too strenuous, then went home.

I worked up a sweat, nothing major, but it was a sweat at least.

I felt guilty.

I felt guilty because I "Should" have done more.

45 minutes of exercise at the gym would be a great feat for anyone else......

But I felt that I had let myself down.

This morning, I woke up with a pounding headache at 3am.

I took Nurofen and went back to bed.

I woke up at 5.15am when my alarm went off, and my head was still pounding.

I decided not to go to the gym.

Chris even said to stay in bed and give it a miss.

I felt guilty.

Even though I was feeling like CRAP, I still felt guilty for not going to the gym, because I "should" have.

I lay in bed with a pounding head feeling guilty for being there, until 6.30am when Rhian got up.

My head was so sore, that I took some more Nurofen and struggled through a shower, all the time wanting to throw up.

But, I knew that I had heaps to do at work today, and I also knew that if I didn't go, then it would mean that there was only ONE in my office, and it is quite simply damn near impossible to run the office with just one person.

So I went to work.

I have felt like crap all day long, and now I have to go home, have a quick dinner, then go out and hold a Tupperware party, pretending that I care, and that I am happy to be there.

I wont care, and I sure as hell wont be happy to be there - in fact, I could think of no better place to be right now, than my own bed!!!

So, how does this relate to my earlier questions??

Why am I so hard on myself??
I'm not sure of the answer to that - sorry!!
I KNOW that I am hard on myself.
I know that I blame all of my failures on my fat.
And I also know that I underestimate myself because of my fat.
For example - I "only" did 45 minutes at the gym last night because I am fat and lazy and will never be anything else.
For example - I didn't go to the gym this morning because I am fat an lazy and undisciplined and will never be anything else.
This is what goes through my head......... a yukky place to be at times!!!

Where did I "learn" to be so hard on myself??
I'm not sure I know the answer to that one either I'm afraid!!
Was it from my childhood?  
I don't know.
Was it from my school days?
I don't know
Was it from my early working years?
I don't know
But what I DO know, is that it can be damn frustrating,  constantly feeling that I am not good enough.
Constantly feeling that I "could" do better, and that I "should" do better.
Not good enough for who??
For ME of course!!
I have VERY high standards, and I expect others to meet those standards, so why shouldn't my standards for myself be even higher???
And why o why the hell can't I meet those extremely high standards??
Cos I am fat and lazy and undisciplined, and always will be.

How do I think it is helping me?
To be completely honest......... I don't think that it IS helping me at all!!!
Case and point - this morning!!
I was legitimately sick.
I don't believe that going to the gym this morning would have done my headache any good whatsoever, yet I felt guilty about letting myself down!
I WAS SICK FOR GODS SAKE!!!!!
BUT......... I have still berated myself for it all day long.
I have told myself that I am hopeless, and that I will never lose this weight........

And you know what????

I hate to say this............ but at times, I listen to that stupid little voice in my head, and I agree with it.
I agree that I will never accomplish anything.
I agree that I will never get to goal.
I agree that I will never be worthy of being slim.

I HATE THAT!!!!!

I HAVE to get these negative voices out of my head...............

But HOW do I do that???




Oh yeah - just as an aside........

I stopped taking my vitamins on Friday, and have a headache ever since......... I'm gonna start taking them again tomorrow!!

I also stopped taking my laxatives on Friday.
I have been on them twice a day for about 5 months now, on my Dr's advice of course.
But I don't want to have to rely on medication anymore, so have said NO MORE!
I wonder if that could be contributing to my headache as well???
I'm not about to start taking them again, and have found no information on the internet that would indicate that there should be any side effects from stopping them.
So, I am thinking that I will just ride it out, and if I am still feeling lousy in a few days, then I will go see my Dr again.
I'm due to see her anyway....... Gotta do that horrible smear thingee......... YUCKY!!

Oh yeah - got tickets to see the Hurricanes on Friday night - baby-sitter all organised as well.
At least I can do SOMETHING right today!!  

Hahahaha....

And yeah - I CAN see the funny side sometimes.........

Three questions.....

Why am I so hard on myself?

Where did I "learn" this from?

How do I think it is helping me?


I'll be back later....

Hahahahahahahahaha....................

If I got a tattoo that was in proportion to my hips, it would be HUGE!!!!!

You think I am gonna through that much pain??

You MUST be crazy!!!!

I KNOW it is too small for my hips....... but guess what??

I DON'T CARE!!!

I got it cos I like it, and I wanted something that I liked, and I don't care if you like it or if you hate it, because I LOVE IT, and that is all that matters to me........

And, one more thing....... the only way that anyone will ever see it, is if they look at it here!

I'm not about to wear pants that are low enough, or tops that are high enough to show it off to the world - that just ain't me!!


OK, now I can do a bit of a catch up on the weekend......

The party on Saturday was pretty cool - my little girl got spoilt rotten, and thoroughly enjoyed it all!

She got a trike as a combined present from her Nana, Grandad, Aunty Steph & Uncle Chris, and has already fallen off it more times than I can remember!!

Hehehehe.....

But everytime she falls off, she just gets back up on it and gives it another go.....

Reminds me a lot of myself actually!

Every time I fall off this weight loss train, I just climb back up again and give it another bash!!

More on that later though....

OK, so the party went really well, it only lasted a couple of hours, so that wasn't too bad, I didn't have to yell at anyone and didn't have to resort to sitting in the corner pulling my hair out while drinking copious amounts of cheap and nasty cask wine...........

YAY ME!!!

My mum and Dad stayed the night at our place on Saturday night, so we just had a quick dinner of leftovers and chips, and then watched a DVD (The 40 Year Old Virgin) before watching the mighty HURRICANES beat the Waratahs!

Which means............ WE HAVE A HOME SEMI-FINAL!!!!!

As soon as those tickets go on sale at 9am on Wednesday, guess who will be trying damn hard to get some tickets???

Yep - ME!!!!!

YAY!!!!

OK, sorry, I got a bit sidetracked there.............

So, after the rugby I tried to sort out some pics on the computer, and ended up not getting to bed until after midnight! DUMB!!

Rhian was up on Sunday morning at 6.30am but luckily, my mum had said that she would read to her, so I took her into Nana, and there she stayed until I dragged my butt outta bed at about 8.45am!!

NICE!! I got a sleep in on Mothers Day!!!

We had my nephews birthday party to go to at 10.30am, so we all got organised and headed into the city for that.

It was just a small family thing, so I didn't have to contend with a house full of kids again - YAY!!

We were home again by 3pm and Rhian went for a sleep...... I was gonna do the same thing, but again, got sidetracked with sorting photos on the computer, and then ended up watching some trashy TV on SKY while her and her daddy snoozed.

I had every intention of going walking with a girlfriend, but she texted me and said that she wasn't walking in the rain, so I agreed and snuggled up on the couch..... it was bliss!!!

Did grocery shopping last night, and made DAMN sure that NO biscuits or lollies or ANYTHING else that even vaguely resembled crap made it's way into the trolley.....

Then came home and had a chicken and salad roll with oven fries for dinner........

My god - how boring is this entry so far?????????

I am just doing this bit by bit in between doing actual work, so it is easier to be boring than inspiring!

Hahahahaha......

OK, so last night before I went to bed, I got all my gym gear ready so that this morning I would be all set for an early morning work out session......

My trusty alarm went off at 5.15am, and I rolled over, opened one eye, turned it off, thought "I'll get out of bed in one minute" rolled back over, closed that eye and went back to sleep!!!!!!!!!

Woke up at 6.40am when Chris said "no gym this morning huh?"

CRAP!!!!

Anyone out there got a SURE FIRE way to get my ass outta bed when my alarm goes off?

I have good intentions all the time, then the morning comes around too quickly, and I am too tired, and it is too easy to roll over and ignore the alarm!!!

I NEED to get out of bed - maybe I should put my clock on the other side of the room? That way I actually have to physically get out of bed to turn it off?

Might try that tonight actually!

OK.................... so I am avoiding the scales like the plague at present!!

I haven't been on them in over two weeks, cos I KNOW that the numbers are gonna be WAAAAAAY up, and I don't wanna have to face reality to be honest!!!

Bad bad bad bad.....

I am doing really well at the gym, yet I cant get my eating under control.

Weird!!

Other times, I will be a perfect diet girl with my eating, yet wont be able to get motivated enough to do any exercise!!

Why can't I get them both in sync at the same time????

ARGH!!!!

I wrote off the weekend.......... and it was so easy to just eat anything and everything in sight......................

But now, I am back to reality, and I KNOW that I cant eat like I have been over the past couple of weeks........

So, today it is back to the basics AGAIN (how many times have I said this already????)

Tracking

Tracking

Tracking

Write down EVERYTHING!!!!!

It starts again today........

I have just 23 weeks (161 days) until we go to Sydney - I don't wanna get any fatter!!!!!!

I don't wanna have to go back to using a seat belt extender!!!!

I don't wanna be the fattest person in Sydney.......

I wanna be GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!

I WILL be gorgeous!!!

Kick me in the ass when I need it OK??

Promise??

Ta!

Look what I had done a few months ago:








I know that I was gonna wait until i got into double digits before getting a tattoo, but I really couldn't wait!!

I got it done on Friday the 17th March......

ALmost two months ago now, and I have kept my mouth shut about it, cos I wanted to tell everyone that "should" know about it, before blabbing my mouth off here.....

So, now that I have done that - I can show it off to the world!!!

YAY!!

I LOVE IT!!!!!

Went to ice Rhians birthday cake today, and discovered that it was WAAAAY overcooked and dry and horrible, so had to make another one!

But I didn't have any eggs.

And the local dairy was closed.

So it was off to the supermarket I went!

Got the eggs, came home....

No milk!!

ARGH!!!!!

Sent Chris off to the supermarket again!!

OK, so now the (2nd) cake is made, and cooling on the bench

The presents are wrapped (we got her a huge easel thing, with a blackboard on one side and a paint board thing on the other)

The house is semi-clean

And I am buggered!

it's been a long week at work

I gymmed this morning - felt great as usual!

But for now - I am going to BED!!!!

Nighty night!

You know how I was complaining about the ladies that I work with not so long ago???

Well, today , I had NOTHING to complain about.......

Neither of them were there!!!!!

One is in Rarotonga on holiday, the other is off sick with "food poisoning"

I ws flat tack all day long, didnt get any breaks, in fact, I only left the office twice and both of those times were for toilet breaks!!

HOLY CRAP - I havent worked that hard for YEARS!!!!!

Didn't help that I went to the gym this morning and did a hard out weight session!

My muscles were a bit achey, and I was tired too, cos I didnt get to bed until 11pm by the time I got home from my Tupperware party.....

Anyway, to cut a long story short - I'm off to bed NOW!

Well, in a second anyway........

Chris has just spent nearly two hours at the Dr with Rhian, as the excema (is that how you spell it??) that is usually just on her arms, has spread to her face!

Looked terrible, so he went off to get some kick ass cream for her!!

Hopefully it will clear up a bit for the weekend - cos otherwise she will be in all her birthday party photos with big red blotches all over her gorgeous face!

Righto........ NOW I'm going to bed!!

So much to say - not enough time.

Work is mental, one is away sick and the other goes away on holiday tomorrow for 2 weeks.

My workload has doubled, so it is head down, bum up.

Gymmed yesterday morning, did 55 minutes solid cardio work - felt great!

Skating on Saturday was an absolute blast - havent giggled that much in ages!

My cheeks hurt from laughing so hard!

Didn't fall over, so that was a bonus!

Rhian's 2nd birthday is on Saturday - can you believe my baby is gonna turn 2??

Freaky huh??

We are having a SMALL party, with about 6 kids, so I think I can cope with that!

I had a meeting last night.

Tupperware party tonight.

Work drinks Friday night.

Rhians party Saturday.

Zac's (my nephew) party on Sunday.

Back to work next Monday to rest!

Booked our holiday to Australia (Sydney) in October.

We'll get there 23rd Oct, come home 5th Nov.

Cool huh??

Wonder if I bust my arse, I can get to 99kgs by then??

Worth a crack huh???

Righto, time to go do some more work!!

Wonder if I will get away from my desk for a lunch break today????

YEAH RIGHT!!!

Had a crap sleep last night, so didnt gym this morning..... BAD!

Had a hard out day at work today too, so that made me even more grumpy - BAD AGAIN!

Ate like a diet queen though, so that made me a bit happier!

Just had a bath with my princess, so that was fun.

Took a call from my Tupperware manager - who I had incidently been avoiding all day - only to have her tell me that she is giving me a party that she cant do next Tuesday night!

YAY!!!

I am stoked to get that, as it means that hopefully I can date a couple more from it, and get myself going again!

Wouldnt that be nice!?!

Righto - I have Avon orders to pack up, so best I go do that so I can deliver them tomorrow!

Short and sweet........

Just the way I like it!

I really feel like I could take on the world today!

It's AMAZING what a bit of sleep can do for a person!!!

I was in bed at around 9.30pm last night, must have been asleep by 10pm at the latest, slept all night long, and woke up 2 minutes before my alarm this morning!!!

It was FANTASTIC!!!!!

I jumped out of bed with an energy that I haven't felt for a long time, and headed off to the gym.

Had a GREAT workout, and decided to up the speed on the treadmill, and also up the resistance level on the cross trainer!!!

HOLY CRAP!!

Damn near killed me at one stage, but it felt AWESOME!!!!

Just gotta hang on to this feeling now!!

YAY ME!!!

I gymmed this morning - as much as I didnt want to!

Chris snored last night, so it took ages to get to sleep......

Then Rhian fell out of bed at 12.47am and took AGES to settle back down again.

Then she decided that it would be a good idea to come into our room at 4.35am, but she got frogmarched back to her own bed quick smart.

Then my alarm went off at 5.15am and Man o Man I wanted so bad to turn that bugger off and roll over and go back to sleep!

But, I dragged my sorry ass out of bed and made it to the gym.

As always, once I started my workout, I felt great - but this morning was the hardest it has been since I joined!

Just the broken sleep I think - that did my head in to be honest!

Anyway,I was great with my food today, and even managed to drink about 2 litres of water as well, so that is all good!

Tonight I have promised myself that I will go to bed and turn my light off BY 9PM!!!!

Might be a hard ask, but I am DETERMINED to do it!

I NEED to get a decent nights sleep - and if I can get to sleep before my freight train husband starts snoring - then that will be a great bonus for me!

Work was busy today, the boss is now away until Monday, so things will be busy for the rest of the week I imagine.

Bonus that one of my co-workers is going away on holiday next week for 2 weeks, so that wille ase a lot of tension in the office for a while!

YAY!

I have just been trying to keep my head down and get on with my own work, but at times it is damn hard to ignore the snide remarks that they make to each other!

Hmmmmmm, just ignore it all Jo!!

Pooooooey!! Teagan is lying beside me and she just farted!

Jeepers!

That reeks!!!

Right - I'm outta here before I pass out with the smell!

Gained 1.1kg back again this week!

I KNEW that I would have a gain due to all the damn cheesecake that I had scoffed, and to be honest - I thought that it would be a bigger one!

So, I will take the gain and move on.........

It'll go again next week anyway!

I must have lost and gained this same couple of kilos about 50 million times by now I reckon!

OK, the wedding was great on Saturday, semi early night as we were home by midnight so that was good!

The road trip yesterday was fantastic too

I had a blast, and was knackered!  

It was absolutely FANTASTIC to put faces to names of the people that i hadn't met, and of course it was wonderful to see those that I do know!!

Didn't spend too much money at all either - so that was great!

Bought my wee princess a gorgeous winter coat, me a couple of pairs of undies, and a bra and that was it!!

Good girl huh?

Noty much more to report to be honest!

It's the first of the month today (duh - as if you didn't know that already!!) and that means that I am super busy, so best I get back to it!

I wont get a lunch break today, but if I work through, then I will get out of here at the end of the day on time!

Later gators....