Just4Jo - A fat chick trying not to be...

My leg/back isn't quite so sore today so that is a positive sign!!!
It's all good when I'm walking on the flat, but as soon as I hit a rise or steps - I'm history!
I must look like I'm 100 years old trying to get up the 51 steps to my office!!  hahaha...
Not sure what the weekend holds, but I know I'll be catching up with the Fabulous skinny Helena on Sunday morning, so that'll be cool!!
Not much more to say - I'm a bit blah today to be honest!
J snored his ass off last night, didn't get much sleep myself - wonder why??
Hopefully as the day progresses, my mood will improve!
But I tell ya what - I'm DAMN DETERMINED not to slip up with my food over the weekend that's for DAMN SURE!!!

Pathetic!

But a loss is a loss, even if I COULD pee more than that on a bad day!!!!

Last week:  117.2kg
This week:  117.0kg
Loss:  200grams  

But, like I said, I'm not gonna get stressed or upset about it.
Just move on and learn from mistakes made.

Enough said!

Got the shock of my life yesterday when I got home form work.... J was getting dinner ready!
AND he had washed the dishes and cleaned the kitchen too!
I'm not complaining at all of course... it's just strange!!  hahahaha...
Dinner was bloody yummy too, he cooked beef snitchel with potato, peas, cauli & broc and it was all delicious and very healthy!
YAY!!!
Weigh in day today... not sure what the scales will bring, but I'm not gonna get too upset over it all.
I KNOW I've been crap this week, I just HONESTLY added up my points from Saturday, and it was about 44!!!
That was including all the alcohol of course!
Plus the fact that I went 8 points over on Friday night (because of alcohol) I'm not holding out too much hope!
Ah well........ time to stop bitching about it and just get on with it I guess!
Onwards and upwards!  I'm gonna try to make this weekend an alcohol free one!
Let's see how successful I can be!

Just re-read my last entry and realised how dramatic I sound!
Hahahahahaha...
They don't call me the drama queen for nothing I guess huh???
On track 100% so far today, which is great for me considering my boss has filled his lollie jar!
Got a really bad pain in my leg, down the back of my thigh from my butt to mid thigh - I'm picking it's sciatica!
Fantastic!  I haven't had it this bad since I was 9 months pregnant with Rhian!
I remember some days I couldn't even walk, so had to literally crawl around the house!  
I noticed it when I dragged my ass out of bed this morning, and it has gotten progressively worse as the morning has gone on.
Nurofen is not doing a great deal to ease the pain, so I might just have to suck it up and get to the Dr.
I hobbled up the stairs this morning, and was even slower after morning smoko, it's bloody sore!
Doesn't do a hell of a lot for my steps counting today!
Yesterday was abysmal too (just 3268)  - but I guess that is what happens when you lie in bed most of the day huh?  hahaha...
Good thing about today is that we have just done the Christmas planning, and I am lucky enough to be able to have the entire Christmas/New Year break off!!!
2 whole weeks!  YEEHA!!
I haven't had time off over Christmas for years and years!
Can ya tell I am a happy camper about it all?!
Righto - Time to do some more work, and keep avoiding the lollie jar!!!

Well, I managed to completely blow everything yesterday.....
I woke with a wicked headache at 4am, took some pain killers and went back to bed.
Alarm went off at 6.30am, I contemplated staying in bed, but Rhian was there demanding breakfast, so I got up, hit the shower, sorted her out, and headed off to work, my head pounding all the way.
Now I KNOW it is gonna be a bad day when I can't even get my password right to log on to my computer at work!!
Sent an email with the wrong info in it, had to re-send it, spilt my water all over my desk, then broke down in tears!
Not a good look!
So, by 9am I was back in my car and heading home again!
Got home, into my pyjamas and straight into bed, I must have fallen asleep pretty much straight away and was woken by a phone call from J to see if I had gone to work or not (he left the house before me).
He turned up home about an hour later and then worked from home for the rest of the day, taking good care of me as well!
Problem being, is that when I am not feeling well, all I want is comfort food, so I ate far too much yesterday, mainly toast and butter, but at dinner time I had some macaroni cheese as well as my chicken and salad!  BAD!
Back at work and back on track today, but I can't help feeling that with all the booze from the weekend, plus yesterdays indiscretions, the scales tomorrow are going to be a little (or a lot) unkind to me!
No one to blame but myself of course!!
Stupid stupid stupid!
Gotta step up and take responsibility for my life, and I'm not doing a very good job of it lately that's for sure!!!

What a great weekend!!!!
I did 16,068 steps on Saturday!!!
GO ME!!!!!
Mind you, since I only did 3964 yesterday, I NEEDED to get them up!  hahahaha....
OK - Recap time:
Friday night went to the pub after work with J and his clients, none of the wives were there yet, and the guys were all eating pizza and chips, I was STARVING, and succumbed to one slice of pizza, and man it was GOOD!!!!
2 beers later, the wives still hadn't arrived, I was getting pretty bored with all the work talk, so luckily J decided to bail early, and we headed over to his sister's place cos she had some friends there for drinks.
2 glasses of wine later, I was feeling pretty merry, then out came the Jagermeister and Red Bull.
Thank god I only had one of those, cos I can just imagine the state I would have been in if I had continued!
Anyway, we trotted off home early (for us) and were both tucked up in bed by 10.30pm!
Funny thing was, is that by that time we were both really hungry, but instead of getting Maccas on the way home, we made salmon and lettuce sandwiches when we got home!!  Too funny!!!!
Saturday morning J was up early as he couldn't sleep, and (as my mum knows)  when J is up - EVERYONE has to be up, although he did let me "sleep in" until 7.15am!  Bless him hahahaha..
It was a beautiful day, and we got stuck into the housework and gardens so by the end of the day, the house was spotless and the lawns and edges were looking tidy again.
I made a huge point free salad for lunch and topped it off with some tuna, as i KNEW that the points intake was going to be pretty bad for that evening.....
We got picked up at 3.30pm to go to his work do, so the first beer was opened at 4pm!
To start with we went 10-pin bowling which was a lot of fun, but my hand is still aching from the weight of the ball!
After bowling we went off to a pool hall and had a few games of pool, then it was time to go to the restaurant (Indian) for dinner.
It was a banquet style, and by the time the food was served I was pretty pissed, so I didn't pig out at all..... hahaha
After dinner and a lot of wines, we (J and me) headed off to another pub where I met up with a couple of my friends, then we all headed to another pub and met up with some of the ones that had been out for dinner with us.
It was a great night and we did loads of dancing and laughing and singing and more laughing, and even more dancing!
Everyone started to drift off by about 1am, and then there was just 4 of us left.... we hung around until about 2am doing more dancing and laughing, and finally called it a night and got home at about 2.30am!!!
Yesterday was spent doing not much of anything, except lying around watching TV, and I didn't even have much of a hangover at all!
Very impressed with that I must say!
And now today, it's Monday again........... BLAH!!!
Although the good thing about Monday  is that I have Rhian this week, and I've missed her so much, so I can't wait to see her smiling face this afternoon!  YAY!
All in all, I don't think my weekend was TOO bad, compared to what it could have been, but I also know that I waste too many points on alcohol, so I need to change that!
I'm hungry now, so I'm gonna have my breakfast!  

My first official day of counting points is going well...
Was running too late this morning to have breakfast, and to be honest I didn't really feel like food anyway, so instead I had a small scone at morning smoko.
Scraped a small amount of marg and jam onto it, so all up I gave it 4 1/2 points.
Now I've just got back from lunch with a couple of girls from my office and we went to subway for salad.
Roasted chicken salad with Honey mustard dressing, all for 4 points!  And a big bottle of water.
So, I'm allowed 24 points per day, that means I still have 15 1/2 to go!  YAY ME!!
I'm sure I can use them up tonight at dinner, cos I'm not sure where I'll be or what will be on the menu!
I could be at a bar, I could be at a restaurant, or I could just be at home in front of the TV!
Isn't great to have options?

Didn't quite get to 10,000 steps yesterday, but I was close enough!
9382 so I am pretty happy with that!
Considering a couple of weeks ago I would have been lucky to get to 5,000!
Everyone is talking points here this morning, and everyone is really motivated so it is fabulous to be surrounded by such positivity.
Although last night I slipped up and a "quiet drink" turned in to far too many......
I know that I can just get back on the horse today and get on with it!
No dramas!!!
I need to take my measurements!
I had totally forgotten about doing it, and the WW leader yesterday reminded me of the importance!
Funny how things get pushed to the back of my mind when I am not really interested!!  hehehehe
I'll try to remember to do it tomorrow morning.
We have a bit of a busy weekend ahead.
Tonight J is supposed to be hosting a few of his customers at a local bar and I will probably go along and make small talk with the wives!  haha
Then tomorrow night he has another function on for work, just a branch dinner, but it will be good.
We are going to be going 10 pin bowling, then playing pool, then having dinner and then drinks.
I'm sure it will be a good night, as his workmates seem to be a great bunch!
It's funny - I've never known anyone to have such a social job as what he has!
Don't get me wrong, he works damn hard and some days I hardly see him as he is out early and home late due to his work load, but there is also a lot of entertaining that goes with it.
He deals with contractors all day every day, and we were talking last night (with one of his customers) about how the only way they seem to be able to unwind and really "let their hair down" so to speak, is to get together and have a few beers!
I certainly can't keep up with them at times, but it's always good fun!
Anyway, now I'm just rambling.........
Better go and try to find some work to do...... or some panadol for this damn headache!  
Too many steinlagers last night me thinks!!!
How many points is in a beer?  Better find that one out huh?

Hahahahahaha...........  Not as good as I would have liked it to be, but I guess it could have been worse too!
117.2kgs is the magic number, so that means 9.2kgs over my lowest ever weight, but still 44.8kgs lighter than what I was when I first joined Weight Watchers and started to change my life.
So, although the good habits that I had formed over the years have definately slipped recently, I'm positive that I am on the right track to see this journey through to the end and finally get to my own finish line!
It certainly helps that everyone around my office seems to be talking "points" and "steps" now!!
I can see a lot of support and camraderie within our group, and it's gonna be good!
Even J still seems to be eating well and taking it all seriously as well!
YAY!!!

It's been a busy old day today, but I managed to get home at lunch time, hang a load of washing out, put another load on, wash the dishes, change the bed, dry the dishes, hang the next laod of washing out and get back to work - all within an hour!  Go me!!!
The weather is certainly warming up, and there are a few of us at work that are already talking about getting out at lunch time a few days a week and walking around the block - even if it is just an amble some days, it's got to be better than sitting in the canteen complaining about the weather!  haha

Not much more to say....... and only 25 minutes before I cna go home!
Does it get any better?

Yep - back to the cold hard reality that is life!  hahahaha
My work trip was good - I managed to make pretty good choices with my eating over the past few days, so I'm happy!
Although dinner the first night was pizza, nachos and hot chips at a bar just down the road from our motel, where FAR too much alcohol was consumed!
Although - even in that aspect I was far more restrained than what I normally would have been if I was at home, and I gave up and headed back to the motel at about 10pm.  I found out the next day that my boss didn't get in until after 1am!
Breakfast was a choice between a hot buffet or continental selection, so both morning I chose the cold one, and just had muesli with yoghurt and a slice of toast - pretty good Jo!
Lunch was provided where we were doing our training, but since it was a cafeteria, we just got to chose what we wanted, the first day I had a ham and salad sandwich, the next day was a pork and salad roll.
Good work Jo - especially since everyone else seemed to be going for the macaroni cheese or hot chips and burgers etc....
Dinner the second night was lovely - we decided to actually have a proper meal, so I had chicken skewers for an entree, then a spaghetti dish that took my fancy for a main, but in hindsight i should have gone for something else, cos it wasn't that nice.
Too much alcohol was consumed again, but all in all it was another early night, and we got back to the motel by about 10.30pm
Helped that we walked into town from out hotel and back again, so that was better than a taxi ride!
The training finished early yesterday, so I got some shopping time, and bought a lovely new perfume from Versace, splashed out a little, but hey, I hardly ever do it, so I'm not too worried!
Got home last night to find J at the airport to greet me so that was fantastic, and then we headed off to a local little Turkish restaurant for dinner, and again, I chose wisely!  
YAY ME!!
The house is a mess, the dishes haven't been done, neither has the washing and I am sure the bed hasn't been made since I got out of it on Monday, but it's still good to be home, and I missed J like crazy!  Yeah I know - I'm pathetic!!  hehehehe
Weight Watchers at work starts today... our timing window is 3 - 4pm, so it is completely different to a Monday morning like I have been doing!
So yeah - weigh in today!  Woohoo!
I have NO CLUE as to what the scales will say, cos I will have clothes on and it is in the afternoon, but at least it will give me an official re-start point, so it's gotta be all good!
Steps this week have been fantastic:
Monday - 9883
Tuesday - 10253
Wednesday - 10384
So I have managed to get to around 10K each day - I'm thrilled with that!
It's good to be back in the zone, knowing that I am doing good.....  Makes me wonder why the hell I ever got off track to start with!
Righto - back to work I go.........

Had a good weekend,. managed to stay on track with food 98% of the time... YAY ME!!!
Weighed in this morning at 116.4kgs, so that means a loss of 1.2kgs for the week.
Was hoping for more, but hey - I'm gonna take that and run with it!
I'm off in about 15 minutes to Christchurch for three days for a training course through work, so wont be updating until Thursday..
Hope you all had a lovely weekend, and have a great week planned!
I'm gonna TRY TRY TRY my hardest to be the diet angel this week, so that next week the scales might show another kilo gone - wouldn't that be nice!
Ta ta for now!
MWAH!

Well, I made it through the night alone, but had a crap sleep!
Woke up this morning far too early, and just lay there waiting for Rhian to climb into my bed like she does every morning.
Sure enough 6.15am she was there!
I had a slice of toast at home this morning fro breakfast as I was just starving!!!
Usually I can wait until I get to work and have my cereal and yoghurt, or fruit smoothie, but this morning I had to bridge the gap with some marmite on toast.
It did the trick, and got me through until about 9am when I made a smoothie with banana, boysenberries, a little natural yoghurt and trim milk.
YUMMMMMM!!!!!
I haven't been near the scales since Monday morning, so I have no idea how I am going, but my clothes definitely feel a little looser already, so I'm figuring that maybe I might have been retaining some water due to TOM turning up yesterday?
Hmmmmm, I wonder what the numbers will show on Monday - HOW EXCITING!!!
Weight Watchers at work starts next Thursday (I think?) so that will be cool too... not sure how many people have signed up but at the last count I'm pretty sure there were 10 of us.
I have another headache today, and have already taken painkillers, so hopefully it wont stick around.... this giving up coffee thing is hard work!  I though I would have been over the headaches by now....... mind you - I guess the headache could be from lack of sleep too!!
Righto - Nothing more to say at the moment..... so I'll sign off and go look for something to do!

Funny how one phone call can make your plans completely change!
I was planning on going to visit a girlfriend after work, having a catch up with her, then heading home for a quiet night with my girl and a bath and some TV.
HA!
Got a phone call from J asking me to babysit for his sister...
Didn't mind one little bit as she looks after Rhian from time to time.
Phone call came at 4.25pm.
"What time do I have to be there?"
"Oh not until 5.30pm" was the reply!!
OK, so I live 20 minutes from work, luckily his sister lives just around the corner from us, but I also had to collect Rhian from daycare, and pick up a bowl from my friends place.
I made it on time, but only just!
Next problem.... they had no idea how long they were going to be.....
So I had a choice... I could either eat the dinner that had been cooked for us (butter chicken from a jar on rice) or wait until God knows when to eat dinner.
I was starving, so as you can guess, the butter chicken won me over!
Luckily it was only a small serving!
But I think I made the right decision cos I've just got home now (well about 20 minutes ago) and I can't imagine that I could have lasted until 9pm to eat!!
Rhian was knackered, and crashed out about 5 minutes after we got home, so now she is safely tucked up in bed sound asleep, and I'm left sitting here in my own bed watching TV and listening to the wind bang the front door!
Have I mentioned before that I hate staying at home by myself?
I mean I LOVE having time to myself, but I HATE spending the night alone in the house...
Yep - I'm a wimp, so tonight is gonna be interesting!
J gets back from his business trip tomorrow, so it's only one night..... I guess I'll survive! hehe
Funny thing is that I am going away with work next week, and I'll be gone for two nights - I hate going away with work, almost more than I hate being at home alone!
God alone knows how I am going to manage my eating while I'm away, my boss already has plans for dinner out both nights and drinks as well.... He's a bit of a booze hag, so it's gonna be an interesting few days! hehe
Righto - time to make a herbal tea (I'm a bit peckish) and settle in for the night..
Oh yeah..... J rang earlier to say that while he was at dinner with his work group, the waiter dropped an entire tray of drinks on him!
He had to go back to his room and use the hairdryer on his pants!
It is a formal "awards" dinner and he only took one pair of dress pants!
Poor bugger! I can just imagine the words that came out of his mouth when it happened!
Hahahahahaha........... bet they raised some eyebrows!
Nitey nite!!

Steps for yesterday:  7970  

Didn't get out walking last night due to a whole host of reasons......
Getting out of work late, spending too much time at daycare reading stories to the other kids, stopped in at the shop to get some white vinegar to clean my washing machine, grabbed the washing off the line, spent too much time yakking to a girlfriend on the phone, then had to change Rhian cos she spilt a drop of juice on her pants and wont spend a millisecond with wet clothes on, then chased her around that house half naked as she decided she wanted to be a "rudie bum bum"!!!!!!  Then of course by the time I got the vegetables ready and into the crock pot I realised that it was 6.10pm, and it was getting too late - so the veges went in the microwave, and Rhian and I danced around a bit to Hi 5 instead!!!!!
It's pretty hard when Rhian's "wind down" routine starts at 7pm at the latest.
This means that she has to have had dinner and dessert (usually a fruit ice block for being a good girl and eating her dinner) by 7pm so we can get her to bed at a reasonable hour.
Bath time first, then quiet TV time, and then bed at 7.30pm.
I can see myself struggling a bit more with that as the weather gets nicer and the nights get longer, but hey, that's just life with a child huh?

I've had a reasonably busy morning this morning, had to work at the other office, so that was a change of scenery!
Not a lot on this afternoon, but we do have the information meeting with the Weight Watchers at Work chick, so that should be interesting!
I am pretty sure that it is starting next week, and along with that, work is also setting a "Step Challenge" as well.
Teams of 4 people, and it goes for 13 weeks (Same length of time that they are subsidising Weight Watchers for) and the team with the most steps at the end of the 13 weeks gets a prize!
We all get issued with pedometers for it, so it will be pretty cool me thinks!
Last nights dinner was really yummy....... we had corned beef with a heap of vegetables and it was just divine!!!
Not sure what tonight will hold though, as J is away with work in Auckland for the night, and I'm not sure that I can be bothered cooking for just the princess and me!
Might just have subway or something!  hehehe...
I'm lucky in a way, because Rhian gets a hot meal at daycare for lunch with meat and vegetables, so when dinner time rolls around, if it is only something lighter, then she doesn't really mind, and I'm not worried as I KNOW that she had a good lunch.
Although I must admit that last night she must have been hungry, cos she gobbled up all her dinner without leaving so much as a pea on her plate!
That's my girl!  hehehehehe.....
Still haven't had any coffee, and my headache has FINALLY subsided, so I am thinking that I must be over the worst of it!
Although, TOM made an appearance last night, so my headache has been replaced with stomach cramps!
Hahahahaha............ I really can't win at times huh?
Righto.... Since I've only been in the office for about an hour, and haven't actually done any real work yet, I better get on and do some!
Time for another Herbal tea too!

Nearly time to get out of here for the day.
Spent an hour out of the office with a workmate, took about half an hour to do what i had to at the other office, so then we decided to go have coffee!
Lovely huh?
Of course mine was a trim DECAF flat white, and we shared a piece of gluten free orange and poppyseed cake (which was quite foul to be honest) and then came back to work...
It was wonderful to get out and not have to think about anything other than watching people and drinking coffee!  YAY!
Certainly brightened up my day that's for sure, and the girl that I went with is actually someone that I used to go to school with many moons ago, and she is a real scream... so lots of laughs were had - JUST WHAT I NEEDED!
I really don't mean to be so negative in my blog, I know what it is like to read an update from someone and all they seem to do is bitch and moan about things.... I hate it!  It certainly makes it a chore to read......
But I guess I am just having a harder time with this giving up smoking thing than I thought I would.
This morning was testament to that, and I know that I just have to work through it and keep on keeping on!
But I do want to say a huge THANK YOU to you guys, cos the encouragement I get is fantastic!
I know I can do this, YOU know I can do this..... I just have to prove everyone right and DO THIS!!
And on that note, I'm gonna sign off here and head off to pick up my gorgeous daughter from daycare, then head home, get the vegetables ready for dinner, get changed and head out for a walk - YAY!!!
And if seeing my beautiful daughter and her lovely smiling face doesn't improve my mood today, then I don't think ANYTHING will!
Have a great night everyone!!!

It's hard...... damn hard!!!!!
I've stayed away from the lollies for the last 2 hours, and I even managed to stop myself from buying a packet of smokes when I got petrol at lunch time!
I seriously don't know how I did it!  SERIOUSLY!
The words were SOOOO close to coming out of my mouth to ask for a pack, but somehow, God only knows how, the words never came out!!
Oh yeah - I KNOW!!!
Cos instead of asking for a packet of Dunhill Blue, I picked up a Macadamia Nut and Honey bar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Only about a MILLION calories for gods sake!!!!!
And I tell ya what - it's gonna be gone in about 4 mouthfulls!
And once it is, THEN I'll take a look at the fat count in the little bugger!!!
Righto..... it's all gone!

HOLY SHIT!
1088kj with 22.7g total fat!!!!!  (4.4g Sat fat)
Ah well, it's done now, and it meant that I didnt buy a packet of smokes, so who gives a shit!?!?!
I'm as grumpy as hell - geez can ya tell?
And I haven't been busy at work today either...
Although this afternoon I'm gonna get out of the office and away from everyone and go and so some work at the other office down the road...
A change of walls might do me good!  
Actually - it might do my workmates some good too!

Oh yeah, and just to really piss me off - my headache is back again!!!!

Brilliant - goddamn bloody BRILLIANT!!!

I can't do this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOT FAIR!!!!
All I want is a smoke - how dumb is that!
If someone offered me one right now, I think I would say yes!
Lucky I don't have any!
Pity that the bosses lollie jar is sitting so damn close to my desk!
I'm sure I've eaten half of it already!  
Half the contents of the lollie jar that is!!!
It would be SO much easier to give things up bit by bit!
Why the hell did I have to try to be superwoman and give everything up at the same time!
DAMMIT!!!!!!!
I hate this!
I've eaten waaaaaay too much this morning, and I've only been at work 4 hours!!!
It's pathetic, it's stupid and I hate hate hate it!
Water doesn't cut it, it just makes me want to pee!
PLUS I'm constipated!
You'd think that all the fresh fruit and vegetables would get things moving - but NO!!!!!!!!
Cos this is Jo we are talking about - and her body is completely FUCKED UP!!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!!!
I need a smoke!!!!

My headache is easing, it doesn't seem to be as bad as what it was yesterday..... YAY!
I'm still hanging out for a smoke, but I know that I can't have one, so I'm TRYING not to think about it too much!
I had a couple of lollies yesterday from my bosses lollie jar, and then I caved in and had 2 pieces of caramello chocolate as well.
No dramas in the scheme of things I guess, but I'm a little pissed at myself for giving in so easily!
But that is what I get from being bored at work!  I EAT!!!!!
Dinner last night was a really yummy beef stir fry with LOADS of fresh vegetables.... it was so scrummy and filling, really lovely!
I even have a little left over for lunch today, so I'm looking forward to that!
Breakfast this morning was cereal with yoghurt, and a herbal tea.
Ya know - I'm getting used to that tea, and I must say, it is even quite nice now!
Hahahaha... never thought I would ever say that!
Didn't get out walking last night, cos as predicted it was too late to go out once we got home from making a delivery to Upper Hutt.
I will get out tonight though, as dinner is pretty much taking care of itself... I put some corned beef in the crockpot this morning, so all i have to do tonight is peel some spuds and carrots, and chuck them in then go for a walk!
YAY!  Nice and easy - gotta love that huh?
Steps yesterday were 5961 and considering I didn't do any exercise, I was completely OK with that count.
I KNOW that today I will get to 10,000!
Righto - time to go make another cup of tea I think!

Just a quick question for all you knowledgeable ones out there.......
How many steps would a "normal" person do in a day.
OK, so maybe not a "normal" person, but say someone who had a sedentary job, and didn't exercise?
Reason I ask is that I have my pedometer on today, and it is reading 1448 steps already.
All I have done today since putting it on, is walk to and from the car a few times this morning, drop Rhian at daycare, walk from my car to work (not far 100m max!), up and down the stairs a few times (there are 51 to go up and down) and to the toilet a few times.
I keep checking and counting as I am walking, and it seems to be counting correctly, but 1448 just "seems" too much.
Does that make sense?

I figured that if I post here every time I get a craving for coffee, or a smoke, or food, then that would take my mind off it.
Problem being, is that my mind has been pretty much occupied with thoughts of all three since I got up this morning, so I'm picking that I would be constantly typing!!!
It's hard.
I'm hungry, but don't want to eat just yet, cos if I eat now, then I will be hungry before lunch, which means eating again, and then it will just be a never ending cycle!
Doesn't help that I am BORED at work!
Hahahahaha..... can ya tell??
I'm starting to wonder if I have actually done the right thing by changing jobs recently!
At least in my other job, when I said that there was nothing to do, it didn't actually mean that I had nothing to do.
It meant that there was plenty to do, I just couldn't be bothered doing it cos it was either boring mundane stuff, or too hard!
Now, when I say that I have nothing to do, I really have NOTHING TO DO!!!!
I can surf the web, or talk to friends on the phone, or go and annoy co-workers, but that is only fun for so long!
Then even that gets boring!!!!!
Today, I have some invoices to pay, and that will take about half an hour, apart from that, I have a couple of reports to run, each taking about five minutes, lunch is 45 mins, but I'll drag that out to an hour, morning smoko can be stretched out to 30 mins, and no one ever has an afternoon smoko, so that rules that out!
OK, so that is about 2 hours and 15 minutes of the day filled in...... and I still have 6 hours left of today!!!
ARGH!!!!!!!
I'm gonna talk to my boss soon and ask for something to do, otherwise I will go crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

On a positive note, I've already had a bottle of water and a herbal tea, so that makes 1 litre of my water so far this morning - YAY ME!!!

I still have a headache, and I'm having to fight the nicotine cravings constantly!
I knew that today would be a hard day..... looks like I wont be mistaken on that count!
Dinner last night was yummm.... I decided to bake the chicken breasts and potato, then we had cabbage and mashed carrot & parsnip.
Pretty basic, but healthy and it wasn't actually that bad!  Hahahaha.....  actually, J really liked it, and so did Rhian so I guess that was good huh?
J had a meeting to go to, so I jumped in to bed early and watched some TV, but when he got home at 9pm, he was hungry.
He chose some tuna and crackers to have as a snack and offered me some, of which I declined!
My tummy was rumbling and I had hunger pains, but there was NO WAY I was eating that late, and in bed.
I have to fix ALL of my bad habits now, not gradually, and eating late is certainly a terrible habit that we had gotten in to.
My pedometer is clamped firmly to my pants today, and I am intending on getting out for a walk this evening, but it will depend on what time I get home...
If it is light - I will go, but since I have to deliver some stuff after work, I am picking that it will be too late to get out with Rhian in tow before dinner.
Never mind - if I don't get out tonight, I'll make sure I get out tomorrow night. that's for sure.
It will be interesting to see how many steps I do today....
Nothing much more to say...... just had porridge with trim milk for breakfast, and have tuna and rice crackers and a fruit smoothie lined up for lunch again.
And if I get hungry in between, I've got fruit and herbal tea to keep me going.....
Funny how my life revolves around food - i hate it!
Time to do some work now me thinks!

Just had lunch.... 3 x rice cakes with tuna, and a fruit smoothie - YUM!!!
Had to go to the post office at lunch time, and discovered a whole unsmoked cigarette in my car!!!!
Took ALL my will power not to bloody smoke it that's for sure!
This is gonna be a damn lot harder than I thought I reckon!
My headache is easing, but I think that is cos I took some painkillers earlier, but now I'm craving something sweet....
So I'm about to see if a herbal tea (blackcurrant, ginseng & vanilla) can beat the craving!
1.5 litres of water down and this will be my second tea, so closer to 2 litres of water I think!
I found my old pedometer yesterday - pity I forgot to put it on huh?
And I had another brainwave.... I should have brought my walking shoes to work with me!
You see, the Post Office is literally just down the road from here, and the supermarket is around the block, but I had to DRIVE to them both, as my shoes are fine to sit at a desk in, but NOT so good to walk anywhere that is further away than the photocopier!
Another little ploy of mine you see...... I knew that if I wore uncomfortable shoes, then I would be less inclined to want to go downstairs for a smoke... not that I have any to smoke course!
Ah well - it made sense in my head this morning anyway!
Not sure what I am going to cook for dinner tonight yet - how bad is that!
Today is the first day of getting my life back on track, and I haven't even organised dinner!
When I say I haven't organised it, I don't mean completely.... I mean I have taken chicken breasts out of the freezer, and I have a fridge chocka block of fresh vegetables, I'm just not too sure how I am going to cook them all!
Should I do a stir fry, or should I bake the breasts and steam or bake the vegetables?
Not entirely sure....
Righto - time to do some more work....... oh yay!!!

Back to work today and I am OVER IT already!!!
It's gonna be a LOOOOOONG week this week.....
Today is D-Day for me.
I've been fucking around for too long.
I've been blaming things on everyone / everything / ANYTHING else, EXCEPT MYSELF!!!
When in actual fact - I'm the ONLY one that I can blame anything on!!!!
Bloody hell Jo - it's not rocket science for gawds sake!!
If you eat shite food - you WILL get FAT.
If you don't exercise - you WILL get FAT!
If you smoke - you have a damn good chance of dying of lung cancer!!!
If you drink too much alcohol - you have a damn good chance of getting some other kind of health problem that will shorten your life!
How hard is that all to take in????
I'm NOT a dumb person.
Yet I have been cruising along in life ignoring all that I know to be true, and living in my own little bubble, hoping that maybe, just maybe, none of that will apply to me!
GET REAL!!!!!
START USING THAT BRAIN IN YOUR HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So now I'm just plain angry!
I'm angry at myself, I'm angry at the scales, I'm angry at the fact that I have let myself go for so long, and for so many kilos, and now I have to start again!
Today I MUST do this for me.
And I MUST do this for Rhian, so that she can have a healthy mum and not one standing on the sidelines of life.
Today is the first day of the rest of my HEALTHY life!

I'm embarrassed and ashamed to report the numbers from the scales this morning:
117.6kgs!
I've GAINED around 5 kgs in about 2 weeks!!!
Yip - totally disgusting!!!  I agree!!!
I'm so mad at myself for doing this..... my clothes are tight, I feel gross and puffy and sore and just YUCK!!!
How the hell did I "live" at 162kgs?

ENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Stop bitching about it, and get on and DO IT!

The fridge is loaded with fruit and vegetables from the market on the weekend, the freezer is full of lean cuts of meat, the cupboards are free from chocolate and biscuits and chippies and other crap - mainly cos I have eaten it all over the past week!!!!!
My cigarettes were handed to J this morning, and he was told to get them out of my sight.
The coffee has been replaced with herbal teas and water, and my (almost forgetten) walking shoes are sitting ready for a walk tonight after work.

Like I said - it's gonna be a tough week.
I've already got a headache, I'm already shitty at the world and myself, I've already had to pee 50 million times this morning!!!!
BUT............ I can do this!
I'm gonna have caffiene withdrawals, I'm gonna have nicotine withdrawals, I'm gonna have sugar withdrawals and I'll probably even have fat withdrawals, but it will be worth it!
I need to get through this week and come out the other side smiling and feeling a LOT better than I do this morning, cos God knows, I dont think I could feel much worse!!!!!

I'm on annual leave this week - haven't been on the computer much - except to check out updates on http://www.leenienz.blogspot.com Helena's blog.
Probably stuffed that link up, but hey - I'm hopeless at this thing! haha
Righto.... what have I been up to?
Eating, drinking, stripping wallpaper, sanding walls, washing, spent a couple of days in Foxton, and that is about it!
What have I got planned?
More sanding walls, plastering, painting, more sanding, more painting, more washing, getting my hair colour touched up tomorrow, maybe even get out into the garden if it ever stops raining!
Eating too much this week - I know it....
Gotta get that under control before it gets out of control!
8.37am and I'm still in bed! YAY ME!
But now I think it's time to get up!